With our time at Camp Dodge ended, and our training in Texas rapidly approaching, tonight I find myself reflecting on times gone by. Part of this is due to The Globe Gazette's Bob Link asking me this afternoon about differences between the last deployment and the current one. Part is due to what I presume is simply human nature to review our lives before starting a new chapter in them. Either way I've been looking back on mine and thinking of the lessons learned (admittedly many of them by "the hard way"), times of sorrow, times of joy, times that seemed to last an eternity, times that flew by too quickly, and also wondering a bit of times yet to come.
I wonder to myself if the up-coming year will seem as routine and familiar as the last five weeks did, or will it seem to last forever like that first year in the Middle East. Will the sometimes heart-breaking home sickness appear, or will I take things in stride as it won't be "my first rodeo"? Will any of us fall into that danger zone of a mindset that things happened a certain way "last time" so we already know what this time will be like?
And what about upon returning home? Will it take years to relearn how to look past the next day and plan a future, or will things snap back quicker this time? Will remaining with the unit be beneficial, or will post-deployment be just as hard as the two years on my own were?
What about family life? The kids are older now, will it be harder on them for me to be away now that they have a better understanding of what's going on? Will my parents, after losing a child just shy of six months ago, be even more worried than last time or will they be able to understand that I'm with the best of the best and in good hands?
Friendships suffered a bit last time around as well. While my life was on hold many of my buddies moved on with theirs, often times moving out of town and out of touch. It makes me wonder, of everyone that has said they will keep in touch, how many actually will? How long will the receiver of the roses sent this afternoon keep in touch? Will we ever have a second date?
Will hobbies change like they did last time? Or will the current ones keep their joy? Will road trips still hold the sense of adventure that they do now, or will I finally be tired of being behind the wheel? Will I find an aversion to military autobiographies again, or reading in general? Will I still want to work in broadcast media? (After touring The Globe today I have to admit its tempting to "join the Dark Side"...if I had the qualifications to).
And then there is the one big question I think I will always have:
Will anyone outside the uniform ever truly understand why we do what we do? (After receiving a number of surprised looks over the last few months when people find out I re-enlisted fully knowing deployment was guaranteed, that question has been close to the forefront of my mind.)
I guess the basic answer to all my questions is simple: Time will tell. In the meantime, I have my faith, family (both relation and military), and heart to get me to the answers...now if only someone would be able to find those camping-sized boxes of Co-Co Puffs so I can have a real breakfast this next year or so.
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